Safetystories step by step

If possible, do Safetystories with an adult with whom the child feels safe. Tell them briefly about Safetystories.

Invite the child to tell her story about what has happened. Let her do this by using small figures or by drawing pictures. You do not need to ask for details.

Just ask:

• Where are you?
• Who was there?
• What happened?

Then ask:

• How did you feel?
• Where in your body did you feel it?

Invite a comfort person – or an animal – into the memory. It can be a real person who was there or not, a person from a movie, Jesus, an angel or an animal. Ask what the person does and says. Ask what it feels like in the body when the person brings security through their actions and words.

Keep asking what the caregiver is doing and saying until it feels ‘done’, until it feels like nothing more needs to happen.

Observe and ask if there is anything the child feels she needs to do with her body. Encourage her to let her body do it. It could be some kind of shaking, protection, running or fighting, and a ‘triumphal action’ – a movement the child wanted and needed to do in the moment but could not. Do the movement, and maybe even shout, with the child several times. Slowly and quickly.

If the child becomes very emotional or upset, ground and stabilize her by letting her move her body. You can also take a break and drink some water, or go outside for a while.

Now it’s time to tell the story back to the child, including the new security. You can start just before the traumatic event, or as early as her birth. Start with “Once upon a time…”. Briefly recount the traumatic event and reinforce the story of the new security. Then tell her that it’s over, and add the timeline story of what happened afterwards. Make the story magical and dramatic. Include the messages the child needs to hear: that she is normal, that it was not her fault, that she acted well and bravely, that she is beautiful and that no one should have to experience something like that.

Now help the child to find strategies for how she can handle a similar situation again. Talk about how you can celebrate that it is over and that she made it through. Make sure the child feels safe and has a sense of belonging, joy, strength and hope.

Do not talk too much afterwards. Make sure the child has something to eat and drink. Explain that the child may be very tired afterwards, for a couple of days.

Later, perhaps at another time, you can explore together what thoughts and beliefs the child began to believe that are no longer helpful, and find more helpful thoughts and beliefs. You can also explore what the child has lost and find ways to grieve these losses.

Ulrika Ernvik